Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Way Back Wednesday - With A Twist

When I think of something "way back," I think of things that bring memories - good and back to mind.

My Way Back Wednesday post is going to take a little turn today. It's going to consist of some negative thoughts with a dash of pleasant in the mix.

I'm going to tell you about my best friend. Yes, I love her and would do anything in the world for her but she is the poster child for a 'fair weather friend."

Rhonda and I have grown up together and have shared lots of valuable moments together. We had our first boyfriends at the same time, we drank beer together for the first time, and some of the best moments of my teenage and college years were spent with her. She became really more like a sister to me than a best friend.

Unfortunately, I have seen a change in behavior over the last few years. Depression is pronounced in her family. Her mother committed suicide when Rhonda and I were in our early 20's and I really think that she has never gotten over that. Rhonda went on to get married to someone I approved of, went to nursing school, had two children (my Godchildren) and she does very well, financially, for herself and her family. On the outside, they resemble the All American Family, but on the inside, they are nothing sort of a train wreck.

Through the years, our lives have taken different roads. I had my girls early on and my days of raising babies were through by the time her little ones came along. I began to see some reclusiveness in her social life and she never had anything positive to say about anything during our brief conversations. I am ashamed to admit that I can hardly stand talking to her because she is such a negative vibe at times. Is that wrong of me to feel that way??

I have tried to talk to her with honesty. She decided to take medication some time ago but I am not seeing a great improvement. For the most part, I am really concerned because depression is a serious illness and should not be taken lightly. It's even worse when the person that you love doesn't recognize it to be that way.

The point of my post today is this: It's a growing concern to me that people are always seeing the cup of live half empty. Is it society's fault that so many people are falling victim to mental health issues. Or....are they not seeking help and fulfilment in the right areas?

At the end of the day, if you don't value yourself; you violate yourself.

I have decided that I will remove myself from negative energies that support behavior of this kind. You can't fix it if you don't recognize that it's broken.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Hey, Ya'll -

......don't expect anything good out of me this week. I am in full-on vacation mode.

I'll give you a tiny glimpse of one corner of my desk and by the looks of things, it screams of disorganization.

Here, I'll compare it to something very similar to Mary Poppin's bag.

Holbox Lamp for reading? check

Bath and Body Works Aromatherapy Energy Lotion for dry, ashy skin? check

Nordic Naturals Omega-3 Fish Oil to keep me healthy for my trip? check

Publix Fruit on the Bottom Tropical Yogurt when my tum-tum growls? check

Glasses so I can see the Mexico forum that I read daily? check

ipod for taking myself to a more tropical place than my desk? check

And last, JC Penny sale ad so I can do some last minute power shopping for my trip? check

Thank you all for bearing with me through this difficult time. I promise that I will be a better person when I return with a sun tan and relaxed state of mind.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Crying The Blues

A part of me has been out of sorts lately. It's not hormones, as one would think. I really miss my daughter. My oldest, that is. The one that is exactly like me - the hardest head in the whole wide world, independent, sassy, smart mouthed- and the list goes on and on.

She is still living with her dad. I am still applying "tough love." And, my well is running dry when it comes to hope that she will bow down and ask for my forgiveness. The ONLY thing that I hold on to is the promise that the good Lord has given me and that is the promise that this will all turn out right in the end. I truly do believe that but I simply just miss her.

She's in school and doing fine but she needs to be under MY roof. Maybe it's a control thing? Maybe that is what got us in trouble to begin with?

So, for you, Chelsea. I love you. Unconditionally. And you will always be my sunshine.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

The Book of Questions

I have been waiting on our mail lady, Crazy Mary, for the last few days in hopes that she would be delivering my Amazon order. Hallelujah! She came bearing gifts this afternoon!
I have been in search of a book to take with me on our vacation and through a Facebook friend, I found one that struck a cord with me.
Although I don't know anything about the author, Gregory Stock, I was willing to buy this book that seemed to exercise my mind beginning at question #1.
I don't consider myself a book worm, but when reading time is up for grabs, self-help is what I lean towards. I have actually learned a lot from other people's experiences and respect a difference of opinion in certain situations.
The Book of Questions is not a book of trivia questions. There are no correct or incorrect answers. It was written to stretch your mind and place you in hypothetical situations, uninhibited, living through predicaments described, so that you care about the choices you make.
Gregory Stock challenges you to resist the temptations to escape from a question by denying it's reality or by coming up with some complication that obscures the basic issues. He wants you to ignore the paradoxes of time travel and the impossibility of various magical powers. Accept the conditions as describe, that odds are accurate, that promises will be fulfilled, and furthermore, that you know this when you are making your decisions when answering the questions.
Don't simply answer "yes" or "no" to these questions - probe and explain your responses. I have tried not to read many because I want to save it for our trip. These are thought provoking questions that I assume will require me to do a little self discovery and relationship enhancement. Chef Ed will hate to see this coming because I am such a deep thinker.
If anyone else has read this, or knows someone who has; I am interested in your thoughts.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Excess Baggage

I have debated long and hard about posting anything related to excess baggage in life for some time. Today, I am going to write from the heart and speak openly and honestly -because that is what blogging is all about, right?

Everyone one of us has a skeleton in our closet. I don't care who you are or how good of a life you have lived, there is always that one tiny little thing that is tucked away. Sometimes it rears it's ugly head; sometimes it doesn't. It only causes a problem most of the time when it interferes with the normalcy of your life.

I am going to dedicate this post to all of those ex-wives that don't give up. You see, we have one of those that we deal with on a semi-regular basis. We laugh and relate her to a hemorrhoid because she never really goes away; she just hides out temporarily. She sends messages of sorrow. She says the SAME EXACT WORDS repeatedly and she is really an emotional train wreck. In Chef Ed's defense, he has tried on NUMEROUS occasions to be very firm in letting her know that her communications are not welcome but she just can't get it.

What amazes me is how folks continue to set themselves up for hurt feelings by putting themselves in a situation for rejection. I can only speak for myself but if someone told me that they had no desire to communicate with me ever again, you would never see the whites of my eyes because I would be history. Why do you want to talk to someone that doesn't want to talk to you?

So, the saga continues. We had another great laugh about it. And until the Loch Ness Monster returns, we will keep the Preparation H pads tucked away in our closet.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Sleep Deprived

I swear, this is what I need to be wearing on my forehead today.

You see, somehow, I have managed to adopt another kitten into my home. It's a 12 week old hissing baby of the Einstein Feral Kitty at my office that has been impossible to catch because she is so freakin' smart. She's healthy and is gonna require a little bit of TLC, but DAMN........can she just sleep at night!?!

I have been up most of the night with her as she cried her fool head off and I am so beat down this morning. Ohhhhhh, how I long for a Dunkin' Doughnut and a cup of girly coffee.

So, if you see me sleeping at my desk throughout the day, please, fortheloveofGod, just quietly pass me by!

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