Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I Couldn't Have Said It Better

There are 4 things you cannot recover in life:

1. The Stone...after it's thrown.

2. The Word...after it's said.

3. The Occasion...after it's missed.

4. The Time...after it's gone.

Have a great day!!

Monday, April 27, 2009

The Choice Is Yours

Out of curiosity, I purchased this book to see what the hype was about in addition to comparing notes on what I thought vs. what they thought. Although it would be impossible to compare each and every item while grocery shopping, I was shocked to see the results that were shown. Chef Ed nor myself were eating as healthy as we thought we were.

This tiny book tackles everything from the 20 worst packaged foods in America to a food additive glossary.

I think I got my money's worth.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Enabling & Rescuing vs Tough Love

I reported some time ago that my oldest daughter had " run amuck" and after some careful decision making, I decided that she needed to go and live with her father. Don't get me wrong, I love her very much but I had reached my limit of teenage drama, smart-mouthing, disrespect and so on, and so on. Emotionally, I was on edge after my brother's death and I felt like she needed to be taught a lesson about making right decisions. Chef Ed and I talked about people that we knew (ex-wife, friends, co-worker's) that never really learned the value of life and how important it was to have boundaries and respect within it.

This has not been an easy road for me and I have learned alot through practicing Tough Love with her. We cannot begin to make progress in learning to love ourselves until we start being kind to ourselves in healthy ways. A very important part of being kind to ourselves is learning how to say no and how to set, and be able to defend boundaries.

Unconditional love does not mean being a doormat for other people - unconditional love begins with loving ourselves enough to protect ourselves from the people that we love if that is necessary.

We live in a society where the emotional experience of "love" is conditional on behavior. Where fear, guilt, and shame are used to try to control children's behavior because parents believe that children's behavior reflects their self-worth. In other words, if Little Johnny is a well behaved good-boy, then his parents are good people. If Johnny acts out and misbehaves, then there is something wrong with his parents (he doesn't come from a good family).Love that does not include boundaries is not truly love.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Happy Earth Day!

It's not about saving the's about doing your part. I thought this cartoon spoke volumes.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Real Mom's Fess Up

Everyone has been to that tournament in the summer when it was about 102 degrees and actually cheered out loud when the other team scored because it meant we wouldn’t be in the playoffs? You only realized you'd cheered out loud when the other parents looked at you strangely. I, myself, recall those times when I had wished I'd brought a full flask of Pinot Noir and made a mental note to do just that the next time.

There are basically two options: You can be a ‘real’ soccer ( softball, baseball, cheerleader) mom and run spreadsheets for the snack schedule, create a website to track stats and bring folding lawn chairs, blankets, extra water bottles, sweaters, maybe even some pompoms to show your support for the game.

As for the other option? Supermoms simply don't have the time to do all of the pre-work to get to the game. Be sure the kid has on the right shirt, shorts and shoes that technically can be used for the sport. It's enough…She's gathering her thoughts and thinking about what to make for dinner out of the soggy celery, leftover canned pasta and wrinkly tomato she has in her fridge.

And snacks........that is a whole other post - Can we not be satisfied with a juice box and granola bar? And if we really want to get technical, WHY do we have to do after-game snacks, anyway?

I would like to reinvent the wheel by making each parent responsible for their OWN child's snack! Would I be shunned from the ball field on this one???

Monday, April 20, 2009

Something About You

Not much going on 'round here this week. We spent the weekend planting (well, I planted and he hauled the dirt, etc. around back). We did some elevated beds this year and some upside-down tomatoes so we will see how things turn out. I will post some pictures and we can see thing progress.

In the mean time, I will post a little something about me. This was a little harder than I expected. That is what I get for being a deep thinker.

1. Birkenstocks or designer shoes: designer shoes
2. Outside or inside: outside
3. Hoping or planning: planning
4. Carrots or peas: carrots - raw
5. Cheese or chocolate: cheese - but a good stinky one that Chef Ed picks out from WFM!
6. Wristwatch or intuition: a basic wristwatch - I think I paid $11 for the one I'm wearing.
7. Milk or juice: juice
8. Creating or viewing: viewing
9. Walking or running: walking
10. Bouncing or rigid: rigid
11. Cozy or breezy: breezy
12. Fancy or hearty: fancy
13. Chuckle or guffaw: chuckle
14. Whisper or announce: whisper
15. Lick or bite: depends on what it is.....I bite into an ice cream cone; not lick it.
16. Snuggle or grope: snuggle
17. Sing or listen: listen
18. Kiss or hug: kiss
19. Wonder or discover: wonder
20. Anticipate or achieve: achieve

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The Self Health Revolution - in more ways than one.

If ever I could recommend a book, it would be this one:

It's an easy read - about 175 pages but it's not full of fluff and useless information that bores you to tears. Although the basic foundation of information that it offered is what initially drew me to read it, there was one section that I felt was worth sharing.

Does your past equal your future?
Happiness of the heart that leads to Self Health is not found in possessions, accomplishments or any external circumstance. Health of the heart is something that happens from the inside out. Happiness is determined more by how we handle our circumstances rather than by the circumstances themselves. We all carry around some kind of circumstantial baggage from our past, broken homes, abusive relationships, failures, hurts, guilt, and fears. Many people believe that their past equals their future. Do you?
Charles Darwin basically taught us many years ago that we are the sum total of our past victories. The strongest will always survive and win because they always have (the past equals the future). That doesn't give much hope to those of us who have had less than a perfect past, does it? Then the great psychologist, Sigmund Freud, came along and told us that every future psychological event in our lives is determined by what happened in our past. Again, here we are being told that our past determines our future. Freud's powerful influence, even today, has many spending their lives attempting to fix some unresolved childhood trauma in order to find and fulfill their happiness as an adult.
The Real Freudian Slip
With all due respect to Freud (and Freudites), the truth is, as recent studies have shown, our childhood traumas have little determining influence on our adult happiness. This is not hard to believe. We all know people who had a horrible childhood but were determined to become happy, healthy, positive and productive people despite their rough upbringing. They became successful at being happy and positive without blaming their parents, abuse, stress, spouses, sex, drugs, alcohol, hurts, failures, injustice, or childhood. Perhaps you are one of those self-driven, happy people.
All too often in life, we can become bitter about our past and hopeless about our future, believing those negative events in our personal history have somehow imprisoned us and doomed us to failure, or at least to mediocrity. We allow our joy, contentment and happiness to be stolen by thoughts that overemphasize bad events in our lives without fully appreciating the good ones.
Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.
Do a self check to be sure you are living this way!
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