Everyone knows that I am a comedian from time to time and Ed is WAY more funny than I am. So, you can only imagine what comic relief we provide when we are together. What a freak of a relationship we have. No one else would share this story.
Anyway, moving forward. Last Easter, I was given the most wonderful gift from my gracious other half. Typically in the past, we have not exchanged "gifts" but I always buy a card and some PEEPS because those are his favorite. I knew it was gonna be something special because he "beef'd" me up for it days in advance. I HATE suspense. I opened the box and there they were.....Prada sunglasses! I had LONGED for those babies for months and months and was too frugal to buy them myself. (I prefer not to use the word "cheap"....sounds so trashy.) Yep, me, the Diva, had been wearing some off brand glasses and I heard about getting cataracts from him for a year or more. I am convinced that stemmed from his worries of having to take care of me if and when I get old and couldn't see. He has bought tons of jewelry for me but for some strange reason, this gift struck me as being very sensitive - maybe I was just greedy and wanted them so badly. I really promise you that I am more of a giver than a taker in our relationship.
After wearing them for a few months, I noticed that I had a mole in the back of my head and the arm of the glasses kept irritating it. I FINALLY broke down and went to the dermatologist to have it removed. I was FREAKING out! Over the top anxiety and when I drove up, it was a surprise to me that my sweet mother was there to support me. For the record, thank the Lord for my mother - I would die without her. I felt my heart racing, shortness of breath...the whole nine yards. I felt like a nut case. The procedure went so fast and simple that I was embarrassed about it when it was all said and done. Not to mention that I felt like a stroke victim driving home because my lips started going numb!
I said to myself, "Self, how can I birth 2 children, be at home vacuuming my house the next day, clean baby poop and vomit from myself and the floor for 16 years but not have a freaking mole removed??" I have a large background in trauma and critical care and it has never bothered me to be in the operating room or emergency department when a trauma arrives so this has got to be defined as a control issue!!
I have GOT to do some research on this!